Love Shouldn't Require You to Disappear ^Sale

You love someone with a chronic illness. And somewhere along the way, you started disappearing inside your own life.

Not all at once. In small trades. You skipped lunch with a friend because it was a bad symptom day. You stopped mentioning your own hard day because theirs was worse. You told yourself you would get back to your own life when things settled down, and things never settled down.

Love Shouldn't Require You to Disappear is for the partner who does everything and says nothing. It is a therapist-created guide to loving someone with a chronic illness, physical or mental, without losing yourself in the process. Written first for spouses and partners, much of it also fits adult children, siblings, and close friends who have become caregivers.

Inside, you will find:

• 11 chapters that name what is actually happening: the disappearing partner, grief for the relationship you imagined, caregiver guilt, boundaries without guilt, resentment without shame, the two truths, your support circle, keeping yourself, the practical load, intimacy and closeness, and when things get worse.
• A section on when strain becomes an emergency, and how to tell chronic strain from an acute crisis.
• A 30-day plan of small steps back to yourself.
• Resources and further reading, including the organizations and books that actually help.

This book will not tell you to stay, and it will not tell you to leave. It will help you see clearly: what you are tolerating, what you are talking yourself out of, what you already know, and what is actually in your control. Clarity first. The honest next step follows.

Written by Sherly Raymond, MS, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over twenty years of experience working with individuals and couples. This book is educational and self-reflection, not therapy and not a substitute for working with a licensed professional.

Not sure which guide to start with? Take the Start Your Healing Journey quiz, four questions, and it will point you to the right one.